Do We Have To End This Now?
by Kunoichi21
Summary: When Roxas gets accepted to Radiant Gardens University, he can't help but be thrilled. But what does this mean for him and Axel? Contains boyxboy, so if you don't like it, don't read it. Part two added. Rating upped for self-harm and citrus.
1. Say Goodbye

**A/N:** Hey all. My muses have been going off the wall lately, so I've decided to indulge them for the time being. This is part one of a two-shot. I'm going to be writing part two (probably) tomorrow. It was inspired by a song called "Say Goodbye" by Skillet.

**Disclaimer:** I sadly do not own any characters mentioned in the story, as they are property of Square Enix; nor do I own the song that inspired this story. Except on my iPod. That's it, I swear!

* * *

"Roxas, what is this?" I ask, pulling an official-looking letter out of the mail stack. "It's from Radiant Gardens University. Is there something I should know?"

Roxas looks at me, a sad smile on his face. He gets up off the couch and saunters over to me, pulling the letter from my hands. Opening the letter, his hands shake. I watch him silently, seeing his expression lighten dramatically.

"I've… I've been accepted to RGU! Axel, I've been accepted to the best school around! Can you believe it?" He looks at my face, noticing my sullen expression.

"Axel? What's wrong?" the blonde ponders.

"Rox, you know what's wrong. I don't want to move all the way out there. It's too far away from home," I explain, again. We've had this conversation many times now. Roxas and I have been dating for two and a half years, almost three. He's told me that RGU is his dream school, and if he got accepted, he'd go.

"But Ax, this is a dream come true for me. I don't want to go without you… Please, won't you even consider living out there with me?"

"I… I just can't, Roxy. I love you, I do, but I can't just pull up out of here like that. I finally got a stable job and income, so what's it gonna look like if I just up and quit four months after being hired? You know this is the longest any place has been able to stand me, so I can't leave…" I trailed off.

"Why can't you attend with me? You know? Tell your employers that you're going back to school for a degree," he pleads with me. I'd tried going to college the fall after I graduated from high school; the start of Roxy's senior year. It didn't last very long. After about a month, I withdrew from my classes and dropped out. Since then, I've been hopping along from one job to another, only staying there for a few weeks. The place I'm at now, Cid's, has been the only place to keep me on longer than that.

"I just don't have the passion for school you do. You know my track record isn't the greatest."

"Axel, just because you gave up on it last time doesn't mean anything. I'll be there with you now. I can help you. Besides, you'd get a better paying job if you had a degree. It wouldn't hurt you to try going again. Please, Ax, I'm begging you," he says, frustrated.

"And how do I go about paying for this exactly? I'm not exactly made of money, here. It's not like I can get a loan. And I know from last time that I won't qualify for any grants, or scholarships. Hell, I could barely pay for my books at the community college here, and they were used! I just can't do it, Roxas…" I know I'm making excuses, but I can't do anything about my situation.

My credit, thanks to my brother Reno, is ruined, hence why I wouldn't be able to get a loan. And I only make about eight hundred munny a month. Tuition for a school like RGU is astronomical, around forty thousand munny a year. The only way Roxas is able to go is because of his parents and because of all the scholarships he received. I, on the other hand, am not so lucky.

"I'll talk to my parents, to see if maybe they can help you," he suggests.

"No! Look, Roxy, as much as I appreciate it, your parents wouldn't do jack shit for me, and we both know it. I'm not exactly welcomed with open arms. They might be okay with you liking guys, but they're not the fondest of what we have. They've never liked me, even when we were younger. Something about me being a bad influence, or whatever. I'm not gonna go crying to them because I can't afford something like RGU. And that's that." I end the conversation.

I step outside, for a breath of fresh air, and to cool off a little bit. Roxas and I have been arguing about the whole school thing a lot lately. It's definitely starting to come between us, and it scares me. I mean, we should have been able to figure something out by now, and gotten over this. He's my whole life, my other half, my soul mate… And I don't want to lose him because of some stupid college. But deep down, I know, I'll have to let him go… I can't make him stay here because of me. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I did that?

I sigh, knowing he'll be upset when I go back inside. I hang my head and go back inside. As soon as the door closes behind me, I hear faint sniffling coming from my bedroom. Oh boy… I didn't think I'd upset him that much.

Walking to the doorway, I call, "Roxas? Babe?" I see, in the faint light provided by the setting sun, he's lying on my bed. He sniffles and sits up. I walk over to him and sit down, wrapping my arms around his lithe frame. He tucks his head into the crook of my neck, returning the hug. I nuzzle my face into his blonde hair, planting a kiss on his head. He relaxes a little bit, after several minutes, and I pull away to look at him.

His eyes are red and there are slight trails on his face from the tears. I hate seeing him like this. Moreover, I hate myself for making him cry. And that's what I seem to be making him do lately. My heart clenches at what I'm about to do.

"God, Roxy, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry… But I've been thinking lately about our situation. And… I think we should end it. All we seem to be doing is arguing because of this whole school thing. And I can't do a long-distance relationship. I'd miss you too, too much. I just want you to know that I'm saying this because I love you, with every fiber of my being," my voice breaks on the last word, betraying what I was trying to hide.

Fresh tears come to his beautiful, ocean-blue eyes as he says, "Ax… Please, don't do this. Don't be irrational. We can make it work. I can come and visit during breaks and holidays, or I can fly you out so you can come see me there, and we can _make this work_! Just, please… I love you too much to let you go."

"But Rox, don't you see? It's because I love you that I'm letting you go like this. I'm too weak to do long-distance…" I wipe a tear from his cheek with my thumb. His hand joins mine on his face, and I can see his heart breaking in his eyes. He knows I'm too stubborn to give in to him, so he just lets the tears flow, not fighting them anymore. I pull him into my lap and embrace him once more, whispering apologies in his ear. God, this hurts so bad… Why can't I just make him happy again? He at least deserves that.

We sit like this for a long while, not really wanting to move and end the moment. But of course, I can't even have that much, because my phone decides to start vibrating against my leg, alerting me to a phone call, and scaring the hell outta me.

"Shit. I'm sorry Rox, I've gotta take this call… It's probably work calling me in." He shifts a little on my lap, allowing me to get to my pocket. I look at the screen briefly, when I pull the phone out, and note that it is, indeed, work. I curse under my breath before answering.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, Axel, we need you to come in for the night shift tonight, okay? Saïx called in sick."_

Damn it.

"Yea, I'll be there. What time?"

"_Eight to six. I know it's a long shift, but Seifer doesn't come in until six tomorrow morning and no one else is available."_

I look at my alarm clock, seeing that it's currently 7:24. I don't have a whole lot longer with Roxy.

"Okay, I'll see you then."

"_Thanks, kiddo! You're a lifesaver."_

"No problem, Cid. Later."

I hang up and sigh deeply. I don't want to let Roxas go. I nuzzle my face into his hair again, smelling the vanilla scented shampoo I bought for him. I wrap my arms tighter around him; wishing time would just stop so this moment wouldn't end.

"…Axel?" Roxas squeaks out.

"Yea, babe?"

"You're gonna have to loosen up a little bit. I can't breathe." He coughs for emphasis.

"Oh, right… Sorry," I say, letting my arms loosen just a little. "I just, I don't want this to be happening, is all. But I'm not gonna make you forego your dream school because of me. It wouldn't be right, or fair to you," I reiterate my point from earlier.

He sighs heavily, "I guess I see what you mean… I just wish you'd try it my way first."

"I know, Roxy. I know."

"Can you do something for me though, Ax?" he whispers.

"Anything. What is it?" I wonder aloud.

"Kiss me? One last time?" Upon saying this, he pulls his head from its resting spot on my shoulder and looks me in the eye.

I don't have to be asked twice. In a second, my lips are on his, melding together perfectly. His lips part slightly, and I take the opportunity to delve my tongue into his mouth, tasting him; he always tastes like sea salt ice cream. His arms wander around my neck, and I can feel him grasping the hair at the nape. His tongue meets mine in a dance of passion. But he always lets me dominate. I explore his mouth, mapping it out in my mind, even though I've done this so many times before. He returns the favor by doing the same to me, and I start grazing my teeth along his muscle. Then I hear the most glorious sound of Roxas moaning into my mouth, and his fingers tangle themselves further into my locks. Too soon for my liking, we have to break apart for air.

He's panting, and his cheeks are flushed. I rest my forehead lightly against his, cherishing every second I have left with him. Our breath mixes in the slight space between us, and he closes his eyes. I can tell he wants to continue, and it's taking a lot of restraint on my part not to indulge him, or myself. I can't exactly mark him as mine anymore, given the circumstance.

When my breathing has slowed down some, I break the silence, "Roxy?"

"Hmm?" He keeps his eyes closed.

"I want you to know I'll always love you. Always."

"You too, Axel. No one can ever replace you in my heart," he replies. It's at this moment I notice the time again, and remember work. It's 7:45. I should probably leave if I want to get there on time.

"Damn it… I'm sorry Rox, but I've gotta leave," I tell him, my voice dripping with disappointment.

"It alright… I've gotta tell my parents about RGU anyways. Be safe on your way to work," he all but mumbles.

"Always am."

With our shoes already on, we leave the apartment, and I make sure to lock it behind me.

"Well, I guess this is goodb-"

"Don't say anything tonight, if you're gonna say goodbye. It's never goodbye. Commit it to memory," I say, interrupting him. I hope that didn't come out as harsh as it sounded.

He stalks away, headed to his parents' house. Before he even gets to the corner of the block, I can tell he's crying again. My heart clenches painfully. Dejectedly, I begin my short walk to work, not looking forward to the ten hours ahead of me. I take a shortcut through the local park, and I remember the first kiss Roxas and I shared on the junglegyms to my left. That was the day I asked him if he would be my boyfriend.

I feel tears stinging my eyes, but I fight them back. If there's one thing I don't need people to see, it's me crying.

I cross the street once I'm through the park, and the convenience store, known simply as Cid's, is in front of me. This is going to be the longest night of my life.

Cid greets me as I walk through the door and clock in.

"Thanks again for this, Axel. You don't know how glad I am to have you here," my employer states. "You're doing me a huge favor."

"No problem, Cid," I respond. I plaster a fake smile on my face, thankful he doesn't know me well enough to see the difference.

He leaves shortly thereafter, his truck almost backfiring.

Knowing that he won't watch the security tapes, and that I won't have any customers (we never do at night), I finally let my walls down. The heartache brings the tears back, and I don't fight them this time. My knees give out slowly, and I sink to the floor behind the counter. The pain of the reality overwhelms me, and I'm sobbing before I know it.

The last time I felt pain like this, I was fourteen, and I'd just learned that my mom had committed suicide because my dad was a jerkoff and left her. It fell on Reno to take care of me, which wasn't easy when I started cutting myself. I still carry a lot of scars on my arms, but I stopped when I became friends with Roxas. He gave me hope in the darkest time of my life, and I couldn't ever thank him enough.

After a good hour has passed, my eyes dry themselves out, and I head to the bathroom to clean myself up. I look like shit right now… And it's totally obvious to anyone who looks long enough. My eyes are bloodshot, my nose is running, and my gray shirt has obvious tear stains on it. I splash a bit of cold water on my face, hoping it'll help.

Once I'm finished trying to better my appearance so that random strangers (if they come in) won't be able to tell I'm dying of a broken heart, I head back out to the counter. It's this moment that my best friend, Demyx, walks in. Of all fucking nights.

"Axel, oh my God, you look like hell! What happened?"

* * *

**A/N:** Well... That was... Not as easy to write as I thought it would be. Please note that I do not condone self-harm in any way. Just because I use it in my stories doesn't mean that I condone it. Now that that's said, did you guys catch the lyric I slipped in?

Anyways, I would like to thank RabiesIsContagious for helping me with ideas and generally being awesome while I wrote this. And if you guys haven't, you should go read her story Since Then. -lolshamelessadvertising- OTL

Thanks for reading, and I hope you're looking forward to part two! Please, _**leave a review**_, let me know what you like or don't like about this story. But please be nice about it. Love you guys! I'll update as soon as I can!


	2. Yours to Hold

**Warning:** Somewhat graphic scene of self-mutilation; mention of gay masturbation (but if you're reading this, that probably doesn't bother you).

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any characters mentioned in this story (so far). Yours to Hold is (c) to Skillet and Alive With the Glory of Love is (c) to Say Anything. However, I do own both on my iPod! ;D

* * *

To say that my shift at Cid's was a long one is a severe understatement. Once Demyx walked in, the walls I'd been building back up crumbled into a heap of debris once more. I felt the tears threatening to come back at that point, and I'm sure he could see it clear as day in my face. So he came over behind the counter and hugged me, just letting me cry as much as I had to. He got up, and for a minute, I thought he was going to leave, since he headed in the general direction of the door.

I looked up, confused when he came back over.

"Flipping the sign to the 'closed' side so we don't have any interruptions," he explained, sympathy oozing in his voice.

I noticed he also held two bottles of soda. Cherry Coke Zero (my favorite) and Mountain Dew for him. He put a couple munny on the counter, to pay for the drinks and handed me mine. Grateful to have such an awesome best friend, I opened my drink and took a swig.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, and I sighed.

"Roxas and I broke up…" I said under my breath. But it must have been loud enough for Demyx, because he reached an arm over my shoulders and pulled me into a bro-hug.

"God, Axel, I'm so sorry. Can I ask why?" he inquired.

"School."

"Ohh. Yea, you guys were fighting about that a lot, weren't you?" I nodded my head against his shoulder. "As much as that sucks, I think you guys needed a little space. And whatever you need, I'm here for you, Ax," he spoke, laying his head on mine.

After that, I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up in complete blackness, with my head in Demyx's lap. He was still leaning against the counter. His head is leaned back slightly, and I can tell his mouth is hanging open by the loud snore that tears itself from his throat. I think he just woke himself up, because now he's trying to stretch without disturbing me.

He sighs heavily, and starts running his dexterous fingers through my hair.

"Oh, Axel… I know you love Roxas, but I hope you can give me a chance now…"

Wait, what? Am I dreaming? I have to be dreaming, because this is my best friend… My best friend who's been dropping hints since Roxas started hanging out with us. God, I'm so blind. How could I not see that he's liked me for three fucking years! I'm an idiot! Granted, my idiocy led me to the best relationship I've ever been in, but still…

I take this moment to nuzzle my face into his lap some more, and he stiffens below me. I hear a sharp intake of breath as he does this, and that confirms what I thought I'd heard. Before I can stifle it, a yawn escapes my mouth, and I act like I just woke up.

"G'morning, Dem," I say, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. When I sit up, I feel a pain in my side, probably from sleeping on the floor of a convenience store for however long I did.

"Mornin' Axel," he replies, grinning like the goofball he is. I do note, however, that there's a slight blush on his cheeks. That's probably why he's grinning like that. It's always been what he does, for all our lives. Any time something embarrassing to him would happen, he'd just blush and grin. Like the time when we were eight and he mistook me for Reno. But that's beside the point.

Standing up, I look at the time on the register. It's a quarter to six. That means Seifer will be in soon. I nudge Demyx with my foot, in an attempt to get him up off the floor.

"What? Time to get up?" he says in a smart-ass-y voice.

"Yes, Dem, time to get up. Seifer's gonna be here in a few minutes for his shift. I want to clean a little bit up so it doesn't look like I slacked all night."

He huffs, but gets up to help. Within a few minutes, we've got the place mopped, shelves straightened, and lights back on. And just in time too, because as soon as we get everything done, Seifer walks in the door. He's a bit frightening in the mornings, which is why I wanted to look like I had done something in the ten hours I was "working."

"Why is the sign flipped to say we're closed?" he glares at us.

I cringe internally, and Demyx looks like he's about to wet himself. Clocking out, I grab Demyx's hand and run, pulling us out the door, as fast as I can, shouting to Seifer, "No reason!"

I drag us through the park, back to my apartment. We take a minute to catch our breath before I unlock the door and let us inside. I fix us both a glass of water and he gulps it down greedily. I sip mine before following his example.

Leaving the cup on the counter, I say, "I feel kind of gross after sleeping on that floor all night, so I'm gonna grab a shower. Feel free to make yourself at home."

"Will do!" Demyx responds, flopping down on my couch and turning on some crime show.

I walk quickly to my room, wanting to get out of my dirty clothes as fast as I possibly can. After shedding the material, I grab a clean pair of boxer briefs and some skinny jeans.

The hot water hits me, and feels like Heaven against my skin. I hang my head backwards under the stream, letting it soak my hair. I can feel my muscles relaxing, the knots and cramps leaving me. I stand there for another minute before I grab my shampoo. Roxas got me started on it, and I've been addicted ever since. Axe Fever. It's got some kind of Brazilian hot mud infusion with red dragon fruit, but he only ever described it as being "me." In fact, he even told me once, "If it's got the words 'hot' and 'red' in the ingredients, it's you."

I pour a generous amount in my hand and start lathering my hair, feeling the cleanliness already. My eyes close, and I'm in a state of bliss. I rinse the suds from my hair and grab my sponge. Using the body wash that came with my shampoo, I scrub myself almost raw, because who knows what kind of shit is on the floor of Cid's? I certainly don't, and I don't want to take any chances.

When I've decided I'm as clean as I can get, I shut the water off, ringing the excess water from my hair. Grabbing my towel, I wrap it around my waist. I set about drying my hair, loving the way it feels against my shoulders. I dry myself off and slip on my boxer briefs and skinny jeans, deciding for the moment to not worry about a shirt.

I find Demyx more or less as a zombie on my couch, eyes glazed over, more than likely brain-dead. I wave a hand in front of his face and I'm met with no response. Go figure. I pop a finger into my mouth for just a second and shove it in his ear. It's super effective. He jumps about a foot in the air and shrieks.

"Oh, Axel! Ick! That's so gross!" He's taken the hem of his Hellogoodbye shirt and wrapped it around his finger, trying to use it to dry his ear. I'm content, just standing there laughing.

"What can I say, Dem, I had to make sure you weren't a zombie. You sure looked like one."

"Yea, well, when you're trying to sleep sitting up with your butt going numb and about ten pounds of dead weight in your lap, you tend to not sleep very well."

Before I can respond, his stomach growls. Loudly.

"Haha! Hungry much?" I make fun of him.

Scratching his head, embarrassed, he says, "Yea… I kind of skipped dinner last night."

"Oh… Was it because you came in and saw me?"

"No, of course not! I just wasn't hungry is all. I promise!" he tries to reassure me.

"Okay… In any case, I want to say thanks, for staying with me all night. I don't know many people that would do that, and it means a lot to me. So anything you want to eat is on me today," I explain to him.

"Axel, you don't have to thank me for being a friend. It's what I'm here for. It's what I'll always be here for. Best friends forever, right?" he laughs, bringing up the promise we made when we were younger.

"Forever," I agree. "Now let's get some breakfast."

After I put on a random band shirt and my beat up pair of red Chuck Taylors, we walk to the diner a couple blocks from my apartment; because even though the food is greasy and the service is kind of lousy, it's still the best breakfast either of us has ever had.

We both order pancakes, eggs, bacon, biscuits and gravy, and hash browns. So sue us, we eat a lot. The dishes come two at a time, and soon enough, the whole table is filled. Demyx digs right in, his stomach making itself known again. I feel something wet hit my hand, and I wonder if there's a leak in the ceiling. When I look up from my lap, Demyx stops shoveling food in his mouth, a concerned expression painted on his face.

"Ax, are you okay?" He looks really worried.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're crying."

Oh. I reach a hand up to my face, feeling the tears flowing freely. Damn it. Why in public? Why can't my heart break in the privacy of my own home? I choke down a sob, desperate not to let it escape. Demyx joins me on my side of the booth and just embraces me. This is happening too much for my liking. At least there's no one else in here.

Within a couple minutes, I calm myself down enough to stop crying and eat a few bites of my food. Demyx stays on my side of the booth. We eat in relative silence, neither of us very hungry any more. Despite Demyx's protests, I still pay for the meal, and we head back to my apartment.

"Dem, I think I need to lie down for a while; but… Would you stay over? I don't know if I can handle being by myself right now."

"Yea, of course. Whatever you need," he says, softly.

Heading towards my room, I know I need to get this pain out. I shut the door and sit down on the side of my bed. Even though Roxas helped me stop cutting, I still kept the razor blades. I pull out the drawer of my nightstand, seeing the silver glint in what little light there is in the room. I pick one up, and it's cool against my skin.

With a practiced ease, I slide the blade across my wrist, adding a little bit of pressure. Blood rises to the surface immediately, and makes me focus on the stinging pain I feel from going across old scars, effectively taking my mind off my broken heart. I watch the blood flow, watch it fall from my wrist and drip onto the carpet. Good thing it's black.

When it starts to congeal slightly in my wound, I add another line below it, letting the new blood mix with the old. Suddenly it's not enough. My mind shuts off while my right hand mechanically slices my wrist and arm, again and again. I don't even hear Demyx screaming at me to stop until he's next to me. I come out of my stupor to see my arm slashed and blood pouring from the innumerable cuts.

Demyx rushes to my bathroom to grab a towel and wraps it around my arm, trying to make a tourniquet. I'm scared now, because I've never had to cut that much in my life. At least, not all at once. I can't even speak. My fingers have gone cold and I'm very much afraid that I've gone too far. God, I didn't mean to!

I look at Demyx, my eyes wide with panic, and that's when I notice how bad I've scared him. He's pale, and sweaty, and _freaking out_. He's almost to the point of hyperventilating and I can see tears of his own threatening to spill out of his aquamarine eyes. He pulls the towel away from my arm enough to see that the bleeding has stopped. Dropping the towel, he pulls me, wordlessly, from my bed and into the bathroom.

He starts the water in the sink and grabs a washcloth from the cabinet below, getting it wet and soapy. Silently, I offer up my arm, which he wipes clean, being gentle so as not to open the cuts again. I'm stunned to see just how much damage I've done. From the middle of my forearm to my wrist, there's not one spot of skin that hasn't been sliced apart by the razor. Many of the wounds cross over each other, criss-crossing in a gruesome pattern of _red_.

After looking for a moment, Demyx gets out my first-aid supplies from under the sink. He pulls out the roll of gauze and wraps my arm until we can no longer see any skin through it. He uses some medical tape to bind it and finds a self-adhering bandage to put over it.

That's when he looks me in the eye.

"You. Fucking. Idiot." I hear the pain in his voice, and the guilt strikes me deep. "Do you even realize how shit-out-of-luck you would have been if I hadn't been able to stay? Do you realize that _you could have died_? God, Axel, you told me that you'd stopped! You promised me that you wouldn't cut anymore! You fucking _promised_!" He's practically shouting now, and I'm so ashamed that I just shrink back, until my back hits the wall.

"What would I have done if you'd died, Axel? Huh?" he whispers, the tears finally spilling down his cheeks. "Do you know how much that would have affected me? Or Reno? Or Roxas, for God's sake? You're going through so much, but I know that I could be the one to hold you…" he trails off, and pins me against the wall. My head just hangs in shame and he lifts it to make me look at him.

In the next moment, he's kissing me, his lips warm against mine. His arms wrap around my waist, and I relish in the feeling of being held like this by my best friend. He pulls away from me and rests his forehead against mine.

"Do you know… How long… I've been wanting to do that?"

* * *

That day started my unofficial relationship with Demyx. That was also a month ago. He's been living with me ever since "the incident" and has been keeping a watchful eye on me.

My cuts have almost healed completely, leaving slightly raised scars on my arm. I've started wearing arm-warmers to hide them, since a wristband will no longer do the trick. I've also been a lot more impulsive since then, and decided one day to get my lip pierced.

Dem was a little shocked when I came home with a lip ring, but he came around rather quickly.

* * *

"Hey, Axel. Come here for a minute," Demyx calls to me from the kitchen. It's been a month and a half since "the incident." Dem's taken up being a chef for us, after he discovered his love of cooking. And he's pretty good, too. So I figure this is probably just another 'will you taste this and tell me how it is' moments.

When I walk in the kitchen, he's got the sad excuse for a kitchen table set with a few tea light candles that smell vaguely like the ocean, and two place settings. Then I catch the scent of garlic, and lemon, along with several spices and something distinctly fishy. Demyx is serving some kind of pasta with shrimp. Oh. Shrimp scampi. My mouth is absolutely watering.

"That smells so good, Dem," I say, almost drooling.

"Well, come eat then. I didn't make it so you could stand there salivating all over yourself. I made it for you to enjoy," he chuckles, an amused smile on his face. He carries both of our bowls to join the candles and garlic bread on the table. Once he sits down, my body finally regains movement and allows me to do the same.

Upon taking my first bite, I decide that I've died and gone to Heaven. And I'm guessing my face shows what I'm feeling, because Demyx is trying his hardest not to laugh at me.

After several more orgasms in my mouth, he's fully giggling. When he finally stops laughing, he pulls his chair over to sit beside mine, a light blush barely visible on his tanned skin.

"I was wanting to know something, Ax," he says in a slightly breathy voice.

"And what would that be, Dem?" I match his tone, his aquamarine eyes looking into my acidic green ones.

"Would you… would you be my boyfriend?" his blush becomes more noticeable, and I can't help thinking it's cute.

In response, I lean towards him, cupping his face in my hand. I press my lips swiftly to his and immediately let my tongue do the work. I lick his bottom lip, asking for entrance and he grants it soon after. Kissing Demyx is not like kissing Roxas. Where Roxas would submit and let me dominate, Demyx fights back to take control of the kiss. Our tongues meet in the middle, both of us fighting for domination. He pulls my tongue into his mouth, creating suction in our mixed breath. When he lets my muscle go, he takes it a step further, biting down on my bottom lip and moving to my lip ring. He gives it a slight tug with his teeth before pulling away.

* * *

After Demyx and I became official, I did something impulsive again. I went and got a tattoo. Actually, I got two. They're dark purple tear-drop shaped triangles below my eyes, so hopefully I won't have to do any more crying.

* * *

It's now late July, and I realize that Roxas will be leaving to move into his dorm, or apartment, or whatever the hell it is he's getting to live in. That'll give him roughly a month to get settled before school starts up at RGU.

I throw a mild temper tantrum while Demyx is in town.

* * *

"Happy Thanksgiving, Axel," Demyx says sweetly to me, passing some gravy my way. We're at some friend of Demyx's house. I think he said the guy's name was Zexion, but I'm not totally sure.

"Happy Thanksgiving to you too, love." I smile back at him.

Very briefly, I wonder if Roxas is back in town, for Thanksgiving with his parents, and I mentally slap myself.

* * *

When the snow storm hits Twilight Town, I cringe. I've always hated any weather that gets me wet. But Demyx loves it, so of course he manages to drag me outside in two feet of snow to build a snowman in the park. We spend a good portion of the afternoon not getting much accomplished because Demyx keeps trying to shove snow down my pants.

But I laugh it off and tackle him into a drift that's waist-high. After a minor make-out session, we return to the apartment, deciding a couch or a bed would be more comfortable and less freezing. Before we can continue though, we need to warm up, so I draw a hot bath for us in the jacuzzi style tub. It's in this bath that I learn there's no better feeling than having the warmth return to your extremities while they're fisted in someone's hair and that someone is jerking you off below the water.

* * *

Two weeks later, we put up the Christmas tree that I haven't touched since I've lived in my apartment. Decorating it takes a couple hours since we didn't know what kind of color scheme to go with. Eventually we decide on teal and green, and before you can say, "Did you get that from your eyes?" we've got the lights on and every empty space filled with some kind of decoration or ornament. It makes me wonder why I've never put up the tree before now.

Once we're done, I fix us both some hot chocolate, with extra marshmallows. If only my apartment had a fireplace… That's the only thing that could possibly make this moment even more perfect; because at the moment, we're cuddling on the couch, under a blanket, sipping our hot chocolate, and enjoying each other's presence while we admire our work.

* * *

I toss a present to Demyx, hoping he can catch it before it hits his face. It may be small, but it's kind of heavy. Luckily, his hand-eye coordination works today, and he manages to catch it. I've slowly been amassing a collection of guitar picks for him, since most of my munny goes towards paying my bills.

"Holy crap. What's in here, Ax?"

"Why don't you open it and find out, you dork."

He tears the paper off of the small box and gasps when he sees the varying picks inside. I know it isn't much, but he loves his sitar and his guitar, so I know it'll make him happy.

"Thank you so much, Axel," he says, voice absolutely soaked with affection. "Here, this one's for you." He hands me a small silver bag.

I pull out the tissue paper and see what looks to be a necklace box inside the bag. When I lift the lid, I'm more than a little stunned to see a razor blade on a chain. Then I realize it's just a decorative one, and even has a heart cut out of the middle.

"I know it's kind of ironic, but I figured with how we got together, it'd make sense, and oh God, you're upset aren't you? You hate it, don't you? I should have realized-" I put a finger to his lips, shushing him mid-sentence.

"I love it," I tell him.

"Really?" Who knew he could doubt himself so easily?

"Really. Now shut up and kiss me."

* * *

After New Year's Eve was over, I swore I'd never drink again. I've never been so hungover in my life. At least, I don't think I have. And I certainly don't remember getting a tongue piercing. Oh well.

* * *

We're almost into February now… It's been six months since Roxas left for school. This is the first time since Thanksgiving that I've allowed myself to even think about him. I know that if I do think about him, it's just going to make me remember all the heartache I caused myself seven months ago.

I know I really can't complain, even mentally, because as I said, I caused all the pain. I was the one who broke things off. I was the one who was too worried about munny to realize I had the best thing to ever happen to me. I was the one who was too egotistical to ask his parents for help even though they'd probably be more than willing to help me out if it meant that it made Roxas happy.

For once, I'm grateful that Demyx is in the other room, because he hates seeing me mope around at night when he realizes I'm still not over Roxas.

_No, I won't let them take you, won't let them take you, hell no no…_ My phone goes off, startling me out of my thoughts. I don't recognize the number when I look at the screen.

"Hello?"

"…_Axel_?" the familiar voice says, barely audible.

My eyes go wide when I realize who it is.

"Roxas!"

* * *

**A/N:** Hey guys, I'm so sorry I was as late with this as I was! I really have no excuse, except that homework overwhelmed me and I had mild writer's block while trying to write this part.

Anyways, again, thank you to RabiesIsContagious for helping me out with this. You give me so much feedback when I'm writing, and I love you! -hug-

As always, leave a review. Let me know what you think, now that I've decided to expand this from a two-shot to a three-shot.


	3. Forgiven

I hear the distinct sound of sniffling on the other end of the phone before, "_…Hey Ax…_"

Lowering my voice to a whisper, I respond, "Roxas, are you okay? Why are you crying?"

"_I… it's… Promise you won't hate me if I tell you?_" He sounds so insecure.

"Roxas, I could never hate you." I hate that I have to reassure him of this fact.

"…_There's this guy… He wants to date one of my classmates, but because this classmate has a girlfriend, and he says I look like him, he came after me instead… At first I only agreed out of pity for his situation, but… Well, now he's coerced me into a volatile relationship that stands a snowball's chance in Hell of lasting, because I look too much like my classmate. He constantly picks fights with me over nothing, and he's come close to hitting me a couple times, but I just can't leave him because I'm too afraid to be single…_" a sob chokes off the rest of his tangent, but I know where he was going with it.

"Did you guys fight tonight?" I whisper solemnly, wondering what could be so great about being with a guy who threatens you.

He quiets momentarily, asking, "_Why are you whispering?_" He effectively dodged my question too.

"You aren't the only one with a distraction… And he's in the other room, so I have to be quiet."

"…_It's Demyx, isn't it?_" Was it really that obvious to everyone besides me?

"Yea… It is. And what about your guy?" I counter.

"_His… His name is Riku. You may or may not know him from town…_" The name sounds familiar to me, but I can't think why. I click the barbell in my tongue against my teeth, a bad habit I've formed.

"_What's that sound? I can't tell what it is._" Oh. Right. He doesn't know about my piercings yet…

"Uh, well… I um… I decided to be a little impulsive one day, so I got my lip pierced. And on New Year's Eve, I kinda got plastered, and when I woke up I had a piercing in my tongue. I still don't know how it got there, but I kept it anyways…"

"_God, Axel,_" he all but moans to me. I can't help but think how good it is to hear him say my name like that again. "_You know what piercings do for me…_" The sound of his voice alone makes my heart skip a beat, especially when he talks in that after-crying, somewhat-breathy voice. My breath hitches in my throat for a minute.

I was expecting this conversation to keep following the same route, but then Roxas says, "_Hey Axel… The main reason I wanted to call you is… Well, there's a huge snow storm that's going to be hitting here in a couple days, so my parents are flying me home till it passes. And I'm not sure when that will be. So I'll be home for some period of time… And I was wondering… Would you maybe want to grab some lunch when I get back?_"

His words hit me like a ton of bricks. He's going to be home? For an undetermined amount of time? This is too good to be true! Isn't it? Emphatically, I start nodding my head, before I realize he's on the phone and can't see me.

"I'd love to, Roxas. What day?" I hold my breath, waiting for his answer.

I hear the smile in his voice as he says, "_Tomorrow._"

I'm fighting with my urge to scream in joy out my window. Oh, but wait. I need one other little piece of information.

"What restaurant?"

"_Lifestream._" That little café we went to on our first date. I can't help wondering if he did that on purpose.

"So I'll see you around 11:30 or so?" I ask, trying to confirm our get-together.

"_Yea. I'll see you then, Axel,_" he replies. Before I can say anything else, the line clicks, ending our call. But I can't bring myself to be sad that he hung up, because we can make up for it tomorrow. God, he's coming home tomorrow! Maybe while he's here, I can explain what a mistake I made in ending 'us'.

The next morning couldn't come soon enough. However, when I woke up, my bleary eyes focused on the clock next to my bed. It's 10:00… **Holy shit it's ten!** I only have an hour and a half before I meet Roxas! Pulling an awesome ninja-move, I'm on my feet instantaneously. I grab my bathroom supplies and rush in for a quick shower. To save a little time, I try to brush my teeth in the shower… It doesn't work quite as effectively as I would've thought. But it still does the job.

Once I'm clean, I step out onto the tiny bathmat. I set to work on drying myself off quickly and wrapping the towel about my waist. I grab a various assortment of hair products (most of which belong to Demyx) to style my hair more efficiently than normal. I use a little bit of mousse, but just enough to add texture while still keeping my hair soft. Plugging in the hair dryer, I grab a brush, just to untangle the still-dripping locks.

Blow drying my hair is a bit of a process, because it's super thick and requires patience. Thankfully, it doesn't take more than fifteen minutes today to get it mostly dry. There are still a few sections that are slightly damp, but I'll deal with those later. For the moment, I get a small smattering of hair gel. I style in my trademark spikes and give myself a once over. Looking good so far! I slip on my boxer briefs underneath the towel, not wanting to feel a draft anymore.

I take this moment to head to my closet to figure out what to wear. I should've done this last night… I grab one of my darker pairs of skinny jeans and step into them while simultaneously letting the towel drop to the floor. These particular jeans are still being stretched, so they're a little tighter than my other pairs. They feel like a second skin, hugging my legs, and making my ass look fantastic.

While admiring myself, I come up with an outfit idea. I find my royal blue, tight-fitting thermal t-shirt and throw it on. Then I have to search for my studded red belt, but when it's found, I fasten it over the bottom edge of my shirt. Lastly, I grab my vest from Hot Topic and slip it easily over my thermal. I pull on a pair of no-show socks and get my Chuck Taylors with the British flag on them. Not to brag, but I am _oozing_ sex appeal. Just one thing to kick it up a notch: thick, black kohl liner for my eyes.

Roxas will go crazy when he sees me. I look at the clock again to see how much time I have left before I'm late to our rendezvous (_date_) if I walk. It's five past eleven. The café is about ten minutes away by foot, so I have a little bit of time. I find a few of my rubber bracelets and a studded cuff that randomly floats around my room and decide at the last minute to put them on. Making sure I have my cell and my keys, I walk out the door, quietly, since Demyx is still sleeping on the couch. What, just because we're dating doesn't mean we share my bed _all_ the time.

Stepping outside, the sunlight blinds me for a moment. Stupid winter sunlight. It's still a little colder than I would like here, but at least it's above freezing. My eyes adjust after standing in the small corner of shade my doorway creates, and I prepare myself for the brisk walk. Yes, I could easily take my car, but I like walking. Even in odd temperatures. I'm weird, so sue me.

I keep a slightly fast pace, to keep my heart rate up and make myself warmer, but not enough to sweat like I would if I ran. Don't wanna ruin all my hard work, right? Right. I'm walking past Cid's at the moment, and I see Seifer inside. His back is turned, and I send him a glare. He still attempts to give me Hell for _that_ night when Demyx flipped the sign over, the few times I actually see him. I don't understand how he still has a job, because he's so negative, and he glares at _everyone_. I'm surprised he hasn't scared all the customers away. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. Because life is about to get a whole lot better.

My route takes me past a few stores and the diner I go to with Demyx all the time. I feel a little guilty when I think about him, because he doesn't know about this meet-up. But he's Demyx, and he always bounces back from things quickly. He's too happy a person not to.

I cross a slightly busy street, almost getting hit by a taxi, before I arrive safely at my destination. I open the door and I'm immediately hit with excessive warmth and the smells of coffee and cinnamon rolls. That's one thing I love about this place. It _always_ smells like something delicious and fresh-baked. The owner, a kind woman who looks to be in her early twenties, greets me and tells me to sit wherever I'd like. A quick glance at her nametag informs me that her name is Aerith.

I walk into the very relaxed dining room and spy an almost secluded corner with a big, puffy, leather couch. I plop down and start to sink in my seat a little bit. After a moment or two, a quiet, blonde waitress named Naminé comes over and asks me if I'd like anything. I order a small coffee for now, just to warm up a little more. She returns soon after with a small, steaming cup of the liquid. I thank her and grab a few of the French vanilla creamers and some sugar to sweeten it. Once thoroughly mixed, I take a small sip, testing the temperature to see if I'll burn my tongue by gulping it or not.

Finding out it's hot enough to warm me up and not scald my mouth, I take a long drink. God, that stuff is good. I don't know how I ever made it through life without coffee. After I had my first cup, I was addicted. I relax a little more and listen to the calming song playing softly over the speakers.

"_I'm quiet you know, you make a first impression, I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind…_"

I space out for a minute, getting lost in the song, and finishing my coffee. I check the time on my phone, and I get excited when I see that it's 11:23 and that Roxas will be here within a couple minutes. A smile finds its way to my face and out of habit, I start playing with my lip ring. My leg starts bouncing quickly and my fingers tap along my arm to the beat of the new song playing. I'm just a little anxious, if you couldn't tell.

I glance up to the counter where I was greeted by Aerith and see an unmistakable blonde head of hair walking inside. My heart damn near stops beating when he looks around and finds me in the dim lighting. I will my leg to stop shaking and remind myself to breathe again. I stand up as soon as he gets over to me.

Before any words are spoken, I wrap my arms around him and hug him to myself tightly. He returns the embrace, and we stand like this for several minutes, which if you ask me, isn't nearly long enough.

"God, Roxy, you don't know how much I've missed you." His nickname rolls off my tongue, and it brings a light flush to his cheeks.

"I bet I can guess," he says, a light chuckle escaping his throat.

Naminé comes back over, offering me a refill for my coffee, and asking Roxas if he wants to order. At his nod, she hands him a menu, and goes to get a glass of water for him. It takes a couple minutes, since she's checking on the other patrons, and it gives us both some time to look over the menu.

Setting the glass down she asks, "Have you decided?"

"I'd like the club sandwich with tomato soup," he tells her.

"And is there anything for you, sir?" she asks, looking at me, pen at the ready for my order.

"Could I get the Monte Cristo* please?"

"Coming right up!" Cheerfully, she takes the order to the kitchen and leaves us alone for the time being.

Just to start a conversation, I ask him, "So, Roxy, how are classes going?"

"Well, so far they're good. I mean, I've got four classes worth three credit hours each and they keep me busy," he explains. He goes on to specify what classes he's taking, but I'm not paying that much attention. I'm too busy taking in his appearance.

His hair has gotten a little longer, somewhat lighter, and his skin looks like it's got a slight tan. What I can see of his skin, that is. He's wearing a pair of slouchy jeans, a black sweater, and a black and white checkered scarf; along with a pair white Chuck Taylors. He looks a little thinner than when I last saw him, but I've learned not to worry, because he spends more time studying than taking care of himself. Though he ends up pigging out during his free time.

A snap by my ear interrupts my reverie and I realize Roxas has stopped talking because he caught me ogling him. Smooth, Axel… Real smooth.

"You were mentally undressing me, weren't you?" He doesn't give me time to answer though, because he laughs and says, "You haven't changed one bit, Ax."

I laugh with him and say, mostly to myself, "No, not really."

"So, what have you been up to while I've been at school?" he questions.

"Well, aside from getting pierced, and these tats," I point to my face, "not a whole lot. I mean, I'm still working at Cid's, and I've gone on several dates with Dem, but I just haven't wanted to do much of anything since you left. I've missed you too much." I feel a light burning in my cheeks, and I know I'm blushing. I start playing with my lip ring again.

"I've missed you too, Axel. More than you could imagine," Roxas informs me. I get the feeling of butterflies in my stomach when he says that. My mouth forms a wholehearted grin and I feel myself leaning closer to him. I want to kiss him so bad… But… That wouldn't be fair to Demyx. Damn it… Of course, now I'm leaning too close for him _not_ to notice, so I just reach my arms around him and pull him into another hug. It's an awkward angle, but I make it work. I swear I could stay like this forever, with Roxas in my arms.

"Um… I don't mean to interrupt, but, well, here's your food." Naminé looks embarrassed at her intrusion, but I mean, we did come here to eat. Pulling away, _reluctantly_, I mosey back over to my side of the comfy couch we're on.

"It's alright, thank you." I throw a charming smile her way. She nods and sets the plates on the coffee table in front of us.

"Okay, remind me what you got?"

"It's called the Monte Cristo. Basically, they take ham, turkey, cheddar, Swiss, and provolone cheeses, make a sandwich, then dip the sandwich in some kind of batter and deep fry it. Every place that has it serves different kinds of jam with it, and here they have it with raspberry preserves. It's like the best sex you've ever had, happening in your mouth." I explain to him. It's my favorite kind of sandwich in the world.

His mouth is slightly watering as he asks, "Can I try a bite?"

Trying my hardest not to laugh, I scoot my plate over to him. He lifts one of the fourths and dips a corner into the preserves before taking a huge bite. His face shifts into pure ecstasy. That makes me want to laugh even more. But it's like I told him, best sex you've ever had, happening in your mouth.

"Having an orgasm there, Rox?" I tease.

"Oh my God, Axel, why have you never told me to try that before now?" He ignores my quip.

"I'm really not quite sure. But you love it, right?"

"What do you think, smartass?" He smacks my arm as he says this, a smile playing on his lips.

Our banter continues like this as we eat our lunch, catching up on the last several months. Even though we've not seen each other for a while, it feels like he never left. Looking at the two of us, you'd think it was just yesterday that we saw each other.

We finish eating, and our bill is brought out. After a little bit of arguing, Roxas has convinced me to let him pay. Even though I think we should just split it. But whatever. That was something we could never actually agree on.

Opening the door for Roxas, I ask, "Hey, have you got any other plans for today, Roxy?"

"Well, my parents have decided to feast for the entire time I'm here, so they're grocery shopping right now… And I didn't really have anything else I wanted to do besides catching up with you and them. So… No, I don't."

"Well, would you like some company?" I question, hopeful.

"Sure! But first, lean down for a second. I think you have something in your teeth."

"Are you sur-" I'm cut off by a pair of lips pressing against mine. Caught slightly off guard, I gasp. He takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. My arms automatically reach around his skinny waist. I feel him shudder against me as his tongue plays with the barbell in mine. His hands fist in the hair at the nape of my neck, and I fight to suppress a groan. We are in public after all. Suddenly, an idea strikes me.

Reluctantly, I pull back, and gaze into his half-lidded eyes. "You said your parents are grocery shopping, right?"

He nods his head, and immediately catches my drift. Another thing I missed about him, he always knows my thought processes. Old habits die hard, they say, because our fingers thread themselves together, the action natural and fluid. We set a brisk pace to his parents' house, deciding it's cold enough to walk fast, and not have people wonder why we're _really_ in a hurry.

Halfway to the home, we pass a secluded doorway, and I can't hold myself back. I push him into the doorway, against the wall of the building. My mouth connects to his immediately, my arms reaching to lift his legs up to my waist. Once he's effectively pinned between me and the wall, he takes my bottom lip between his teeth and starts _sucking_ on it. This time, I allow myself to moan, not particularly caring if anyone hears besides Roxas. I'm not sure where his dominating side came from, but I like it.

Before lets my lip go, he toys with the ring in it. When it's no longer captive, I kiss the tip of his nose, and swiftly move to ravish what I can of his neck. I alternate between nipping and licking, working my way up to the shell of his ear. He's on the verge of panting by this point, and I run my tongue along his skin.

"…Nnngh, Axel… Fucking tease," he utters, breath hitched.

Nibbling on his earlobe, I respond, "What, you don't like teasing?"

I can tell he's getting too turned on to stay where we are, and for that matter, so am I. I set him down fast, but keep a tight grip on his hand to make sure he doesn't fall. We run the rest of the way to his house, and I'm grateful his parents didn't lock the door this time.

As soon as the door is shut, we're on each other again. Our kisses become more passionate, more sensual, and filled with feverish desire. God, I missed this. While Demyx and I just fuck around with each other, Roxas and I _make love_ and there is a definite difference.

His hands fumble with the buttons on my vest and he pulls me, backwards, towards his bedroom, never breaking our lips. I reach up to his checkered scarf and pull it off his neck, leaving it on the floor alongside my vest. Deciding to make things easier for both of us, I pick him up bridal style and walk us to his room, before almost throwing him down on the queen size bed. At some point, he kicked his shoes and socks off, so before I join him, I do the same.

I crawl up on top of him, putting my hands on either side of his face and looking into eyes again. They're filled with so much desire and love and animalistic _need_. How could I have ever let him go? His lips find mine again, and we set a slow pace. I feel warm fingers reaching up under my shirt and exploring my chest. When they pinch my nipples, I cry out, "Ah, Roxy!" I'm short of breath as I mumble, "Who's the tease now?"

My belt comes off, and my thermal follows shortly after. When I look back to his face, he's wide-eyed, looking at my arm. _Shit_.

"Axel… What did you _do_?" His fingers trace the scars, like he's trying to figure out how many there are.

I hang my head in shame, feeling like I've betrayed him. I can't find my voice.

"Did you do this when we… you know…?" He trails off, lifting my face to look at his. I nod, feeling so small and insignificant. I move off of him, and he sits up, wrapping his arms around me, whispering in my ear, "I thought you were over that phase. I thought you beat your depression. But you know what? It doesn't matter. I'm never letting you out of my sight again," he leans back, moving his sapphire eyes to look into my emerald ones. "Because I love you. So much. And I don't want you to feel like you have to go through that any more. Alright?"

"I… I love you too, Roxas. And I'm… sorry," I tell him, wishing I had never cut myself like that.

Looking over my scars, Roxas tenderly presses his lips to each one. His love fills me up, and I know he's forgiven me. He trails kisses all the way up my arm, over my shoulder, on my collarbone, up my neck, on my face, and finally back to my lips. Our fingers lace together, connecting us again.

He pulls back, huskily whispering, "I missed you so much, Axel." When he lies back down, I follow, keeping our hands together. Against his lips, I say, "Missed you too." I let go of one of his hands to snake up his sweater. Why it's still on is a mystery to me.

I reach as far up as I can with the fabric restricting me. Roxas realizes it's not far enough and sits up enough for me to lift the sweater over his head. It lands somewhere on the floor. My lips attack his neck and exposed chest. I give some attention to the rosy nubs, taking one in my mouth, and teasing the other with my hand. He cries out, "Oh, God, Axel… Nngh… I love you… So… ohhhh… so m-much…!"

Our eyes connect for a moment, and I respond to him in an almost-whisper, "Love you too, babe." My mouth and hand alternate sides, playing with his nipples. His fingers tangle in my hair, and he's starting to writhe beneath me. I work my way down lower, dipping my tongue in his belly button for a moment, and leaving chaste kisses in a random pattern over his stomach and across his pelvis, the bones almost jutting out.

There's a very noticeable bulge in his pants, despite them being slouchy. My hand cups his growing erection through the thin denim, eliciting a gasp from him.

"Mmm, Roxas… You're turning me on so much…" I start stroking him, and he lets out a sound somewhere between a moan, and a growl. I can feel myself hardening, and it's painfully tight in my skinny jeans. I falter in my ministrations when I feel his knee grinding against my member. As I look up at his face again, I see him _smirking_ at me, despite the lust in his expression.

I saunter my way back up to his face and capture his lips again. As we're kissing, I feel my jeans being unbuttoned, and then Roxas slides his hands inside them. He's grasping my length through the cotton of my underwear, and it makes me arch my back and moan into his mouth. We break apart just long enough for me to work my jeans off, my underwear riding down low on my hips.

"Nuh-uh," I say, as his nimble fingers try to pull the waistband of the material down further. I slide a hand underneath his back and lift him up, tugging on his jeans with the other hand. They slide easily off his small form, and I'm surprised at what I see.

"…Since when do you go commando, Roxas?" He flushes even darker, and I think it's so adorable on him. He's probably the only guy I know who can get away with blushing like he does.

He mumbles something under his breath that sounds a lot like '_did it for today._' I let out a chuckle, and say against his lips, "Thinking ahead, were we?" He pulls back slightly, sticking his tongue out at me in a playful manner. Before he knows it, I grab the muscle with my teeth, making him squeak in surprise. I use the barbell in my tongue to run along the tip of his, before letting it go.

His length twitches in anticipation. We share one more sensual, slow-paced kiss before I ask him, "You ready?"

"I thought you'd never ask, Ax," he replies in a throaty voice.

In one swift motion, Roxas pulls open the small drawer of his nightstand, grabbing for the chocolate-strawberry lube we got the last time we slept together.

He looks at me with confusion written in his expression when I hold up a finger, signaling for him to wait a moment. "Not yet," I explain, getting ready to tease him some more. Before he can ask me what I mean, I take the head of his erection in my mouth, and he gasps, obviously surprised. I swirl my tongue around it, making him moan when I lick the slit.

"Hnng… Axel…! Fu- Aah!" he groans. He's losing his breath and starting to pant now, which makes me harder. I take more of him in, using one hand to cup his balls. I can tell he's trying not to buck his hips up so I don't choke, just by how hard he's gripping the sheet beneath us. His eyes are screwed shut, and he looks like he might get close to losing it soon.

I go down as far as I can on him and suck, hard. "Oh, fuck, Axel! Hahn…" he gasps. "I'm… So close… I… Oooooh!" I glance up at his face again, and I can tell he's about to come. I start bobbing my head, grazing my teeth along his shaft. One last hard suck is all it takes for him to release his load into my mouth, and I milk every drop out.

"Ahhhh… God, Ax… Holy shit…" Freeing him from my mouth with a slightly audible 'pop,' I grin. I stretch myself back up to look into his eyes before we're at it again.

"Have I told you how much I love you, Roxas?" He gazes right back at me, and all I can think of is how like an ocean his eyes are. "I think you've mentioned it a few times, yea. But I'm okay with you saying it again… And again, and again, and again. Because I love you too… And I can never tire of hearing you say it." Our lips connect in what has to be our most innocent kiss tonight. "In that case," I reply, "I love you, more than words could ever explain."

"I love you more," Roxas laughs. Trying to get things back on track, I lean down to whisper in his ear, "We'll see about that…" With a slight shiver of anticipation, I'm caught off guard by his teeth, lightly biting the conjunction between my neck and shoulder. I feel myself throb painfully, ready to receive some attention. As if reading my mind, Roxas thrusts his member, already hard again, against mine.

"Oh fuck! Nng… Damn that felt good… But I'm ready to really get this going. Are you?"

Rolling his oh-so-blue eyes, he says, "As if you even need to ask. Come on, less talking, more sex."

"Your wish is my command, Roxy." At that statement, I pick up the bottle of lube, pop the cap open, and squirt a generous amount onto my fingers, and my hand. I look up again, for confirmation, and he nods. Setting myself to work, I push one finger inside his entrance, circling inside to make it slick. Using my other fingers, I spread the lube thoroughly around the sensitive ring of skin. Feeling it loosen just a bit, I slide another finger in to join the first.

"Mm, Roxy, you're tighter than I remember. Almost like the first time I took you…" I pull my fingers out almost all the way, and thrust them in again, scissoring his entrance, and soon after, adding another finger. I change my angle just enough to make him—

"Haaaah!"

—see stars. My trademark grin makes another appearance here, as I use my other hand to start pumping his erection. He releases the sheets beneath us, and instead, weaves his fingers through my hair, begging me to _get on with it already_! A few more thrusts and barely suppressed groans later, I completely remove my fingers, using the rest of the lube and adding more, to spread on my (much neglected) member.

Making sure we're both prepped, I align myself with his hole and begin to penetrate. I can't believe how _hot and tight and perfect_ Roxas is around me. Somehow, I manage to hold back on thrusting into him again and again, so he can adjust to the intrusion. After a minute or so, he pulls back and slams down on me to tell me to move. I can only comply.

We start out slow, both of us enjoying the sensations before things speed up. His eyes are closed in ecstasy, and his skin, as well as mine, is coated in a light sheen of sweat. God, how I missed this, the feeling of his heat surrounding me, pulling me in further, rocking my hips and knowing exactly where to hit each time.

"Oh God, right… aaah, right there…!" he cries, writhing uncontrollably beneath me. Aiming for that bundle of nerves, I ram into him. I'd say I hit just right by his screams of pleasure. In turn, his walls close around me tighter, building my pressure almost to the edge.

We both give up stifling our voices now, letting them fill the room, and consequently arouse us even further. I'm so close now, and I know Roxas isn't far behind me. He connects our hands, clasping our fingers together, just in time to fall over the edge together.

"Ax! Axel! Iloveyou!"

With my vision white, I take in every word and release my seed into him, groaning out, "Love you… too, Roxas!"

We ride out our orgasms intensely. Completely spent, I can no longer support myself above him, and collapse, our hands still joined. Slowly, I pull out, not ready to give up the heat around me, but knowing I have to before I'm too overly-sensitized to everything. At that point, it'd be absolutely painful to do so.

"Hey Axel…" Roxas whispers to me, "think you could try things my way now? Come out to Radiant Garden with me?"

Barely able to find my voice, I reply, "Yea, I think I could… I don't know what I was thinking before. But I will say that those last six months were the worst of my life. And I never want to experience that again… I love you." Closing my eyes, I place my lips lightly on his forehead.

Before we both drift off to sleep, I hear, "Love you too…"

* * *

**A/N:** HAPPY AKUROKU DAY GUYS! I know this was a long time coming, and if you were patient enough to wait for it, I commend you. Please, please, forgive me for making you wait that long. However, those of you who check my profile will see that the circumstances are _mostly_ not my fault. On Sunday, May 22nd, my hometown of Joplin, Missouri was hit with a multi-vortex EF5 tornado, ranked to be the eighth worst in the history of the U.S. and the worst in Missouri history. I came very close to being in it. I was in Walmart, buying groceries with my mom. We finished checking out at 5:28 p.m. The tornado hit at approximately 5:41 p.m. When we left the store, the sirens were going off. So we rushed home, got the refrigerated groceries put away, and when the news showed the tornado, live, we went straight to my neighbor's house, which is always open in severe weather. It has a door from the outside connected to the basement, and if we looked out, we could actually see everything, and the tornado was headed straight for us. But I did some serious praying right then, and within a half-mile of my neighborhood, it veered south. To say that I'm lucky, is a severe understatement. However, there are those that were not so lucky, some who lost all they owned, some who lost their lives that day. But we are nothing if not resilient. We didn't wait around for people to come and help. We picked ourselves up and got straight to work, giving shelter and food and clothing to those who needed it. Even now, almost three months later, there are still people from all around town, and the country here, volunteering for debris clean-up projects, rebuilding homes and places of business. It's given me so much hope, and though it will be years down the road before we're even close to what we were before, we're making due with what we have.

Now that I've rambled on about that, I also want to apologize for not even attempting to seriously write lately. Between both of my part time jobs, I'm getting about 45 - 50 hours a week, and usually by the time I get home from whatever I work on any given day, I don't feel like doing anything except getting off my feet and resting. So any time I would sit down to write, I would usually get out a paragraph, maybe two if I was lucky. However, this time I was able to sit down and get it done. Granted it took me all day. Even so, I'm glad to say I finally finished what I said I would finish, and now, I'm about to write an epilogue, to truly bring this story to a close. I hope you guys have enjoyed what I've written up to this point, and though I ask this every time, please, leave me a review, so I know what to improve on (besides updating in a timely manner). I love you guys so much, and your reviews are what keep me going when I don't feel like it.

Thank you for everything, for your patience, taking the time to review, or favorite this story, or subscribe to me, or whatever. I hope you know how much I appreciate it all.


	4. Epilogue: Marry Me

The autumn wind blows lightly through the trees, dropping leaves of bright crimson, burnt orange, and faded yellow on the hilltop. It only adds to the beauty of the ceremony taking place. Mixed in among the fall colors are a redhead and a blonde, both dressed to the nines in sharp, black tuxedos. Among them are their closest friends and relatives, and most importantly, a minister who could marry them. Standing underneath the nature made altar, Axel waits for the love of his life to walk down the "aisle" and join him. To his side, as his best man, is Demyx, and as ring bearer, stands Reno. Opposite them are the maid of honor, Naminé*, and her cousin Kairi as the flower girl.

As a piano lets out the instrumentals of the song Come Home, one of Axel's favorites, all guests rise, and turn to watch Mrs. Day walk her son, Roxas, to his waiting husband-to-be. When they reach the altar, the minister, Yen Sid, addresses the teary-eyed mother, "Who gives this groom away?"

She replies, "His mother, Aurora Day." At this, she gives her son a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, and then turns to take her seat next to her husband, Philip.

Speaking to everyone, the minister announces, "You may be seated."

A beat of silence as the guests take their seats is then softly broken by the official start of the ceremony.

"Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, we are here today to unite two people, who are the very definition of love, into marriage. These two, whose souls are entwined, have asked you to witness their entrance into holy matrimony on this day of August thirteenth, of the year two-thousand and eleven. Let us take a moment to pray…

"_Father in heaven, You ordained marriage for Your children, and You gave us love. We present to You Roxas and Axel, who come this day to be married. May the covenant of love they make be blessed with true devotion and spiritual commitment. We ask that You, Lord, will give them the ability to keep the covenant they have made. When selfishness shows itself, grant generosity; when mistrust is a temptation, give moral strength; when there is misunderstanding, give patience and gentleness; if suffering becomes a part of their lives, give them a strong faith and an abiding love. Amen._"

After the resounding 'Amen' from their guests, the grooms look to each other, hands clasped between them, and whispering 'I love you.'

Yen Sid speaks once more, "The grooms have written their own vows, which they wish to share. Axel, if you please?"

Audibly clearing his throat, Axel takes a deep breath before starting. "Roxas, all the years you've spent by my side have made me realize that I could never love anyone as much as I love you. You complete me, and you give me strength to look forward to the future. You gave me light and hope in the darkest period of my life, and helped me get back on the right track. Your love fills me, and I very much look forward to spending all my life with you, from this day forward. I love you so much, and I could never ask for anyone else. I hope you know that I am always grateful that you were brought into my life, and I sincerely hope I never do anything to make you leave, ever again. So please, stay by my side, forever."

A few tears escape eyes of blue, and are wiped away by the redhead. Roxas smiles, reciprocating his vows.

"Axel, you taught me what it means to love with all my heart, and I can only ever hope that I taught you the same. To me, forever couldn't be enough time to spend with you. Sometimes, I wish time could stop so that we'd never spend a moment apart. You probably don't know how much courage it took me to even walk up to you the day we met. You tell me that I gave you light in that year you spent in depression, but truthfully, I feel like you did the same for me. All my friends left when they found out about me being gay, and they started mocking me soon after. If I hadn't met you when I did, I doubt I would even be here with you today," his voice cracks a little. "But what matters now is this moment, and how much I love you. Your love for me is what keeps me going, and I'm more than happy to promise that I will always be here, and I'll never leave."

"Reno, may I have the rings, please?" asks the old minister. Wordlessly, Reno hands them over to the gray-haired minister, allowing them to be blessed before the grooms present them to each other.

"Axel, Roxas, these rings are a symbol of your love and commitment to each other. They represent a continuous love and support, no matter the circumstances. These rings are a promise, in the eyes of the Lord, and in front of all your friends and family that you will never leave each other. I present them to you so that you may fulfill your vows to each other." Each groom takes the others' ring, to exchange.

"And now, by the power vested in me by Kingdom Hearts, I pronounce you husband, and husband. You may kiss, gentlemen."

They didn't need to be told a second time. With the purest, truest love one could ever imagine showing in bright green eyes, repeated in blue, they lean in for a long-awaited kiss, one that would represent their new status as married, and just as in love as ever.

_~fin~_

* * *

**A/N:** Well guys, this is the end. I hope you enjoyed reading it, despite the wait I put you through. And a few disclaimers need to be added. For one, the title was taken from the song of the same name, by Train. The song Come Home is owned by OneRepublic. The prayer came from http : / / www . documentsanddesigns . com / verse / marriage _ prayers .htm#t2 (minus the spaces of course), and the idea for the venue was inspired by this photo: http : / / ohshcroxmysoxoff . deviantart . com / favourites / # / d140uqn (again, minus the spaces). Lastly, I would like to dedicate this epilogue to my dear friend Carlee (who frequently cosplays Axel), because she lost her boyfriend Trevor (who would cosplay Roxas), in a freak accident. I feel intense sadness about the whole situation, but I know he is watching over her, and that gives me peace.

*This is not explained, but Roxas and Nami become close friends between the last chapter and this one. This epilogue is meant to be a few years in the future. However, I forgot to mention that when I was writing it... Hope you can forgive me for that...

I love you guys for sticking it out, and would love you even more if you reviewed, one last time for me. Until next time.


End file.
